Contrary To Popular Belief I Am, In Fact, A Girl…
I have to throw this phrase around at least once a week. In fact, once during a conversation someone actually said to me “Elisa, since you’re the closest thing we have to a girl here, what do you think?” It was a group of guys, and they meant no disrespect…for some strange reason they thought my opinion might be girlie enough to counter their very male perspective.
This is quite amusing for someone with an entire beauty regimen of hair, facial scrubs and make-up (as my girlfriend would say, this doesn’t just happen!) and an obsession with feminist refrigerator magnets. The guy comparisons aren’t just because my office radio & company car are permanently tuned to WJAB Sports Radio or will take a beer and pub food over salad and wine spritzers any day. I mean, I’m extremely involved and devoted to one of the largest non-profit foundations for women in Maine. And guys and girls are much more than stereotypes, right?
Yet while out with a bunch of girls listening to them talk about shopping woes, stress and time, boys who don’t return their calls and eventually one starting to cry (yes, in a bar) I texted a few of my guy friends, lamenting the fact that I hate going “out on the town” with groups of women. From the responses I got back the overwhelming sentiment was, “That’s what you get for hanging out with girls.” That night was the moment that the neurons finally started pinging off each other in my brain.
I’m the missing link.
It’s not stereotypes or make-up or Shipyard that make me this not-so-average girl next door. I love to be girly and bubbly and feminine but at the same time I need time to kick back with my boys and raucously enjoy the simpler things in life. Rather than braving the mall on Black Friday for super sales on shoes I’d rather curl up with my newest book and a gin & tonic relaxing away from the world. And most importantly I need the chance to be giddy and giggly with the girls but I’m peacing out as soon as we start talking emotions and feelings to hang out and laugh at immature jokes that would make a 12 year old boy snort milk.
After becoming engrossed in the show Tough Love I realized I might be able to make some use of this. The host is a man who, while the most well intentioned and seemingly knowledgeable of dating coaches (I actually agree with a lot of the things he says…) his inability at times to communicate with the women was painfully obvious. He was offering tough love and trying to fix things as guys do. He wasn’t realizing, however, that for girls there has to be love before it can be tough and women want to work together to fix things they don’t always want to be told how to fix them.
Thus I will be starting a new series on my blog, the Guys’ Girl’s Guide. Observations on guys and girls from someone who seems to straddle both sides of the fence. I’m not sure if it’s science or if its society, but gosh the genders sure are different. Yet, at the same time, I’m willing to bet that over the course of the series we’ll find there’s a lot that’s the same, too.
Look to the Webb every Thursday for the newest installment of the Guys’ Girl’s Guide
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