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Why Every Girl Needs A Guy…Friend

10 September 2009 7 Comments
Excited for my first guest blog post EVER on the Webb! When I wrote a couple weeks ago about Why Every Guy Needs A Girl…Friend I stirred up some pretty lively debate. Though I am sort of a guys’ girl, I realized that I wasn’t equipped in many of the correct ways to write the mirror image of the post, Why Every Girl Needs a Guy…Friend. Enter Ben Wilcox, a great blogger and one of my Twitter Guy…Friends…

I really enjoyed the original post that Elisa wrote about Why Every Guy Needs a Girl…Friend. Naturally, I jumped at the chance to write the follow up post “Why Every Girl Needs a Guy…Friend.” While Elisa wrote her article for all of the fellas in the audience, I wrote this one just for the females. Ladies, as soon as you are done reading this article, you will jump up and immediately leave your house/apartment/condo in search of guys who could possibly be your guy…friend. Who knows, maybe a few guys who are reading this might be more open to the possibility of a girl guy friendship than they were before.

There are a few different dynamics that a relationship between a guy and a girl can take. One is a dating relationship, where the two dress up and go on dates together, and eventually talk about getting married. Another is more like the relationship between a brother and a sister. This is how you want to feel about your guy…friend. You will never picture him as potential boyfriend material, because he is like a brother to you, and that’s gross!

I have had several good friends who were girls in high school and in college, and feel like we both benefited from the different perspectives. There are probably more reasons than I have listed here, but I have highlighted some of the first that came to mind below.

  • He can serve as a relationship BS tester. You can learn a lot by how a potential boyfriend treats your platonic guy…friend. Jealousy can be an ugly thing, especially in a boyfriend. If you are close with your guy…friend, a jealous boyfriend will immediately be exposed upon meeting your him.

  • Your guy…friend can act as either a bodyguard or a boyfriend stand-in when that creepy guys hit on you. This has come in handy for my girl…friends several times while out on a Friday night. The bodyguard aspect is also good so you don’t have to walk home alone, your guy…friend will be there to after a long night out.

  • When you are the girl…friend, it is much easier to tell your guy…friend what to wear than when you are dating. Most men are able to dress themselves fashionably, but I have to admit, my fashion knowledge once extended no further than don’t wear a brown belt with black pants. Thanks to one of my girl…friends several years ago, this is no longer the case. When just a friend, the guy knows that your opinion is completely unbiased and can feel confident about the way he looks after gaining your advice. Plus, it’s fun for you! What girl doesn’t like dressing up a boy to look better than he did before?

  • You can be yourself in front of your guy…friend. It seems that some girls feel the need to always have makeup on and behave like a perfect lady in front of men. This is not the case with your guy…friend, who you are not trying to impress. You both know each other well enough that you don’t need to act like a lady. Go ahead, dive into a Chipotle burrito without a fork, I guarantee he will diving in as well.

  • By spending time with your good guy…friend, you automatically become more approachable and have more in common with potential boyfriends. This goes for guys hanging out with girl…friends too. Some girls can seem intimidating to guys because of their looks or their smarts. Knowing that they love to watch sports or can quote your favorite R rated comedy will give them something in common and makes a girl instantly more approachable. Guys like a girl who can be interested in traditionally guy activities just as a girl likes a guy who can be interested in traditionally girl ones.

  • Most importantly, your guy…friend will give you the blunt truth when you need it. Sometimes even your best girlfriends will fudge the truth a bit in order to soften the blow of bad news. This can be a good thing occasionally, but other times you need to blunt truth about a bad job, habit or relationship. Your guy…friend will immediately skip the BS and tell you what is wrong.

These are just some of the reasons why it is good to have a guy…friend among your own version of Sex and the City.

Can you think of other reasons why it would be good for a girl to have a guy…friend? Could any of these bullet points be disputed?

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  • Grace Boyle

    Ben, you're right this post made me miss my guy…friends and also made me crave a few more in my new home of Boulder :)

    Platonic relationships between the opposite sex are great. I just think that they're hard and few and far between. I'm such a friend person, I don't go around dating all my once guy friends, but some of my best friends have turned into long-term, serious boyfriends. It's like the When Harry Met Sally analogy (I wrote it on the Girl…friend post Elisa posted).

    Nonetheless, you've included some great points here. I'm excited to hear what others have to say!

  • RdGarnet

    Wow! I actually agree with Ben. Thanks, now I am going to hang out with my guy friend tonight. ;) I might invite him to watch some football!! BEER AND WINGS!! :-D

    Great post!

    Elisa, great guess you brought here :)

  • Rachael

    Ben, its evident from your post that you are indeed a great Guy…friend.

    a few of my favourite Guy…friend perks that you didn't mention:
    1) guy hugs – they are just better
    2) they refuse to let you take yourself too seriously
    3) they dispell myths and set us straight.i.e. they tell us the truth skin and bones isn't sexy

  • anita lobo

    Another perk:

    Girls who grow up with guy…friends and are able to sustain that relationship in the crucial early years of our career, actually do much better at work – whether its breaking the glass ceiling or being entrepreneurs.

    I think its to do with developing the ability to work with men & women and staying focused on getting work done vs getting caught in politics + gender wars that many inexperienced people get sucked into, unwittingly!

    Great choice of topic Elisa. You & Ben have done justice to it.

    Cheers,
    Anita Lobo

  • Elisa

    Grace – I agree, as we've discussed before. A TRUE guy/girl…friend is difficult to find. But I appreciate your willingness to dare to see "what if" with a close friend. Though I preach frequently the idea that if you are supposed to marry your best friend why not date them, I don't dare to do it myself. I'd sacrifice myself for a friendship any day. *sigh*

    RdGarnet – Hope the game was good. That's one of my favorite things, beer and greasy yummy foods watching the game with my boys!

    Rachael – Ooh, those are some other good ones. I've always been a big fan of my guy…friend hugs. They are just huggier than most girls. It's like shaking hands. A lot of girls seem to be afraid to be physically agressive, some even dainty. I appreciate a firm handshake and squished bear hug. It's just the way I roll! :)

    Anita – You know, I feel that way a lot when I get around groups of women. Definitely not all the time, but women seem to want to get together and just TALK about things all the time. Analysis by paralysis. One of the greatest things with my guy…friends is the ability to just sit around and not have to make small talk. And when we want to do things, someone does them. None of this "I don't know, what do YOU think/want/etc."

  • rockthehouse

    @Grace: Platonic girl and guy relationships are indeed hard to find, but I think that is what makes the relationship great. 'Brothers/Sisters from another mother' is the way that I like to describe them, because it will eventually feel that way after a time. Thanks for the comment!

    @RdGarnet: Thanks for your agreement! I am glad that I convinced you to call your guy…friend for some beer and wings!

    @Rachel: I like the additional bullet points you have added to the conversation. Skin and bones is definitely not sexy, but that might be the topic for another entire post :) I like to see myself as a great guy…friend, glad you were able to see that! Thanks for the comment!

    @Anita: I think your point of doing better in the workplace because you have good friends of the opposite sex. I think the qualities learned from these relationships help you relate more easily in the workplace. Thanks for the compliment about doing the topic justice, I am glad you enjoyed it!

    @Elisa: Thank you for the opportunity to contribute to this topic. I had a lot of fun writing this guest post for your blog because I enjoy your writing style. Good luck with the redesign and I am looking forward to many more interesting articles here at the Webb.

  • Sam

    Ben: This is awesome! You make some great points, and you're right…if I wasn't at work, I would totally jump up and run out to find myself a guy…friend! Seriously though, it's very important to have platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Although I don't really have any guy…friends like the one you describe, I have that sort of relationship with my cousin. We're the same age and we're both only children, so we fill the sibling void for each other. I'm very grateful to have him in my life.

    It seems like you're a pretty awesome friend yourself! I hope your girl…friends know just how lucky they are to have you!