Love

Andrew

I’ve been in love before — a relationship that was everything I thought I had always wanted (at least, at the time), that lasted for four years, that ended amicably (for the most part). I know the feeling very well and, truth be told, I often miss that feeling. Love is a glorious mess of contradictions — it’s exciting and it’s calm, it’s adventurous and it’s stable, it’s challenging and it’s straightforward. That being said, I feel like I’m a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to love as well — it’s something I want to find again, something I look forward to, but, truthfully, it’s something I’m a bit hesitant of — having been down that road before. The good outweighs the bad, but the bad still leaves a mark. All of the advice I have in me, everything in my heart, says go for it, take that leap, risk the heartache, let down that guard because it’s better to have loved and lost, etc, etc. But when it comes down to it, those things are pretty scary. Worth it. But scary. So I can’t offer any advice. From what I’ve seen, though, you’ve figured a lot of it out already.

I read a post on David’s blog recently and saw that he attributed that last quote to you — that you shouldn’t settle for love, shouldn’t settle for anything less. I love that and believe that to be true. I think you’ll know it when you find it and to settle for that something else just because — I think that could do more harm than good for both you and the other person involved if your heart isn’t entirely in it. Does that mean I’ll be single for awhile until it finds me? Probably. But I think I’m becoming ok with that, too.

I hope — have every belief — that it will find you, too. Beautiful post — thanks for sharing it!

Thanks!

I’ve had a lot of heart breaks… a lot. More than I care to realize. I don’t think I have broken many hearts though. The thing that I’ve learned from love, heart ache, and loss is that, it’s never the same. I hate giving my friends advice on love and relationships because lighting never strikes twice. I am very different from them and their relationships will be very different from any that I have had. There are no steps, it’s rare the movie ending happens. I’ve never gotten off the plane to see him standng there with roses.

Should you let your guard down? Yes. It’s that simple. But only when someone trustworthy and worth your love comes along. I’ve had my heart broken, but I still believe in love and if it takes the next 20 years to find it, I’m happy with the love I already have from family and friends. That means the world to me, everytime.

I don’t know that the fall and whatnot are necessarily the thing most are avoiding. Sure, that’s a part of it, but there’s so much more than fear that holds us. There’s the whole hassle/craziness/game that is involved, too. That’s the biggest piece for me…I hate the efforts that go into dating cause I don’t like doing things that lead me no where.