Comments on: Just Right Love

By: The Power of People Who Are “Down” | Small Hands, Big Ideas

The Power of People Who Are “Down” | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:02:35 +0000

[...] a metaphor, I think to Sharalyn’s beautiful post on Elisa’s #AllYouNeed series comparing love to beekers (yes, like from Chemistry class). [...]

By: nicole antoinette

nicole antoinette — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 22:18:09 +0000

Everyone I ever date from now until forever is going to need to read this post. I’m at least a 500ml girl, and this is just about the best analogy for our differing capacities to love that I’ve ever heard. Wonderful.

By: Sam Karol

Sam Karol — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 19:44:29 +0000

I’m a little behind here, but better late than never! This is a great post, and I think the beaker analogy explains a lot. I want to expand on David’s point a little. Just like it may take some people longer to fill their beaker than others, sometimes one person’s beaker might spring a leak. Often, that leak can be stopped, but there are times when it can’t and the person has to realize that they need to replace their beaker in order for it to be full again. That’s just part of life.

As you know Sharalyn, we are very much alike in how much we put into relationships. In terms of friendship, I’m a giver 100% and sometimes it’s hard when other people are mostly takers. But, I’ve come to realize that I give because I want to and because it makes my heart happy to make people smile. In other words, I recognize that my beaker is unusually full, and I’m okay with that. A very impressive first guest post, my friend!!
.-= Sam Karol´s last blog ..Get Over It =-.

By: Elisa Doucette

Elisa Doucette — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:08:33 +0000

David – Dammit, why do you have to comment with my thoughts independently of my other comments. Sure yours came first but I just wrote about someone assuming a “level” of beaker that may not be real.

I like your description too, takes it one step further. I may even re-adjust my original “reserved and analytical 250mL” comment. Perhaps, I have the capacity for 500mL love, I just haven’t found someone who “fills my beaker” yet. And while it isn’t fair for a 500mL overflowing person to have to wait for someone like me to fill, it isn’t fair to fill pre-maturely.

That just NEVER ends well!

That’s not to say there haven’t been those who turn on my bunsen burner (god I LOVE this science post!!!)

By: Elisa Doucette

Elisa Doucette — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:02:18 +0000

Interesting question (not to either of you directly, but spurned from thought on your comments, and Grace’s actually):

Can we incorrectly assume that someone (or us ourselves) have a 250mL or 500mL beaker the whole time only to learn that we were wrong?

I have a friend who fell madly truly deeply for someone, but they kept trying to convince themselves that they weren’t “in” that far. That they were functioning at a 250mL level. The other person got frustrated hoping for more and never getting it and finally broke things off. If only my friend had dared to acknowledge, or the other person had been successful in requesting more, who KNOWS what would have happened.

By: Elisa Doucette

Elisa Doucette — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:57:15 +0000

So true! Whether 250mL or 500mL or 50mL an IMPORTANT factor to our beakers is their delicate nature. We’ve gotta be careful and mindful of them. A quick spin around or abrupt stop could send them flying and shatter.

Another beautiful thing, though. While all the chemicals are mixing and mingling and working within the beaker, since most (good ones) are clear we get to watch the magic happen if we want. I’m a science geek, few things are as exciting as the implementation, experimentation and finalization of a scientific project.

Or you know…love…if that’s what floats your boat.

By: Elisa Doucette

Elisa Doucette — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:50:38 +0000

Jess – I’m with Sharalyn. Yes, just yes.

Also, best line of advice – ““The Five Love Languages” It’s a book. Buy it. read it. Love it. Put it under your pillow at night and whisper it sweet nothings.”

By: Elisa Doucette

Elisa Doucette — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:46:24 +0000

Amy – Look at you with all the science references. I’m duly impressed Paco.

And yes, I think that it is possible to start with a 250mL beaker (especially when we are 22 and just trying to figure things out) and realize with the right person that you want to upgrade and match their love.

The real tragedy, I think, comes when we have a 500mL beaker that we are too afraid/angry/stubborn to fill.

By: Elisa Doucette

Elisa Doucette — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:40:51 +0000

Grace – Haha, I’m typing this with a red book cover staring at me from Lori Gottlieb encouraging young women to settle for Mr. Good Enough. I’m supposed to review it.

And I’m mostly inclined to agree with you and Sharalyn. But on the flip side, I’m a little on the opposite side. I am a 250mL person, to most people. Someone who was overflowing with love and passion and exuberance would overwhelm and frankly terrify me. Not just because commitment makes me break out in hives either!

A partner or significant other or friend could (and have) easily assumed that I didn’t care as much cause I’m generally more reserved and analytical. Quiet yet blunt might be a good way to look at it.

It only takes a dash of baking soda to add to vinegar to create a volcanic explosion worthy of any science fair.

By: Sharalyn

Sharalyn — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 14:41:11 +0000

Thanks, David! You actually made me think of it in a way I hadn’t before. Sometimes it just takes people (men and women) longer to fill their beaker. It may have that 500 mL capacity, but it just takes them longer to fill it and start pouring. Sometimes it will happen, sometimes it won’t. I like that perspective. But, it’s just like I was saying to Susan and Amy, I would just never bank on it happening. I think you can tell what someone’s capacity is after you get to know them because they will exhibit that capacity in other areas of their life, not just in loving you. Thank you for a new perspective on a long-held theory of mine.

P.S. Yep, I do! They even listed me as “Relationship Expert” on my byline. A few too many people got a laugh out of that one…haha! And staff writer for TheRugged.com (new men’s mag, totally awesome, you would like).