Love Grows With You
I’ve been in love…you know, the romantic kind. The kind where you “just know,” and all of your preconceived, Hollywood-inspired notions go right out the window, because this is the real deal. It’s tremendous, terrifying, all-consuming and at times, truly indescribable.
But, as so many of us have painfully discovered, romantic love isn’t necessarily everlasting love.
The love I’m talking about grows with you, and becomes greater even when you’re leading separate lives and don’t talk half as much as you’d like to. It’s the kind of love that enables you to pick up exactly where you left off without missing a beat, even if it’s been nearly a year since you last saw one another. In my opinion, it’s one of the greatest loves you can hope to find in your life: the love that comes with having a true best friend.
Photo Credit: deviantART – Social-Disaster
I was lucky enough to find mine in the room next door during my first year of college.
Love is sleeping on a hardwood floor when your best friend drags you to meet her new pseudo-hippie boyfriend (who happens to not own a couch).
Love is not rolling your eyes and disowning said best friend when she falls for yet another pseudo-hippie and proclaims she’s going to dread her hair.
It’s watching Jeopardy at your respective apartments and typing out the answers as quickly as possible on AIM when you should be doing a million other things…because it’s just not as much fun to watch alone.
Love is being able to speak openly and honestly about everything: your strange childhood obsession with the Princess Bride, your irrational fear of dolphins, and the aftermath of your parents’ messy divorce.
Love is calling the Rape Crisis Center and sitting in the ER exam room through the entire messy ordeal when your best friend is having one of the worst days of her life.
Love is committing her favorite engagement ring to memory so when one of the luckiest men in the world pops the question, you can make sure he’s got the right goods.
Love is feeling like you could conquer the world together.
I wouldn’t be near the person I am today was it not for the love, friendship, humor and kindness of my best friend aka hetero-life mate Andrea (who patiently tolerated my temporary fixation with boys who lacked regular personal hygiene habits.) Of course, she mercilessly teased me about them afterward, but I wouldn’t expect anything less of her.
She was the first friend that I’ve never held anything back with. I never questioned my ability to trust her, or to be able to count on her in a time of crisis or celebration.
I am a better and bolder person because of her.
While she’s kicking ass and taking numbers in conjunction with getting her Master’s in Public Administration in Kansas City, I’d get in my car at 3am and drive through the Illinois flatlands going a buck twenty the second she needed me. And I know she’d do the same.
All You Need Blogger: Ellen Nordahl
Ellen Nordahl works in marketing and social media at a firm in Madison, Wisconsin. When not watching midnight reruns of Jeopardy! on the Game Show Network, playing Bananagrams or compiling the perfect playlist, she blogs about life, career, and other topics that strike her fancy at ElleLaMode.com. She’ll be moving out of the Midwest to Texas or Colorado in the coming year…or at least that’s the plan for now. Keep tabs on her @ElleLaMode on Twitter.
Song: Peter, Bjorn & John – Young Folks
Ellen, I think that this is my favorite
(I’ve said that about four times now, but I really think this is!) I am very fortunate to have that best friend three times over. I was lucky enough to have this connection with three different people. There’s a line from Sex in the City where Big says, “You three are the loves of her life, a guy is just lucky to come in fourth”. It’s kinda been our mantra. Boys will come and boys will go, but these loves will stay forever. I won’t let them leave 
I think you’re totally right, love is suppose to grow with you. I think that’s why so many people find these best friends in college. You find yourselves together and grow together from there. They are there with tissues when you cry and are there with Double Stuf Oreos when it’s movie night. Great post
Thanks!
[...] Love Grows With You: All You Need Series [...]
Ellen, this is awesome! Best friends really are an example of true love. The friends who are there with you through ups and downs, who know everything about you and love you anyway, those are the people who matter. What a beautiful tribute to your BFF! You’re lucky to have each other
Sam Karol´s last blog ..Stressed? Click Here!
Ellen — I agree, this is a fabulous post! It’s funny — growing up with two brothers, all my life I wanted a best friend who was more like a sister. Someone with whom I could share laughter and tears, who was there through breakthroughs and breakups, who knew me inside and out. I had people I called best friends growing up, but I met Sarah in college. She’s that best friend for me — that one who will be there for a lifetime, who we joke will be the two old ladies sitting in the movie theater or on the front porch in rocking chairs. I know I need to only call her and she’ll be there.
Loving someone means opening up fully, letting them in. Loving someone means complete trust. Loving means having faith. Friendships help you learn how to do all of these.
I’m so glad that you treasure your friendships — I think that’s so important. They are, after all, the family you choose
Great, great post!
Susan Pogorzelski´s last blog ..Captive On A Carousel of Time
Ellen, I’m glad you have a Public Admin friend. I have to read day after day, how employees in the public sector have it so good. And they do, when they get those jobs. They deserve every last dime they make. But I digress. Since we are talking about it, I have some awesome friends. Even though they have to work harder than me in my current situation (home living) they still got me some awesome birthday presents. They didn’t need to, but they did anyway. That’s one reason why I love them. You can’t trade a good friend for anything. I wouldn’t want to. You know them when you have them, and it doesn’t get any better than that.
Jim´s last blog ..Kapanke and Wall don’t get it
@Amy: Thank you! I had such a good time writing this post – it honestly just flew right out of my brain & I was having a hard time typing fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. I’m so glad that you have such wonderful friends & were able to relate. There’s just really no substitute for a best friend’s love – even if you have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world…we girls need each other.
@Sam: We are so lucky to have one another – she’s awesome.
@Susan: Too funny – Andrea and I have joked that some day we’ll buy a condo together and move in together if we’re widowed. Like the Golden Girls, but with fewer mumus
@Jim: I love this: “You know when you have them, and it doesn’t get any better than that.” Couldn’t agree more.
Ellen´s last blog ..The Art of Manliness: Not Just for Men
[...] no longer the only person to call me on a regular basis. I’ve reconnected with the friends who bring out the best in me and make me grateful to be alive. I’ve branched out, taken risks I’d never imagined [...]