Love That Never Fades
I’ve thought about doing a tribute post for a while, and when Elisa asked me to guest post here on her blog, I knew it was just the right time to come through with a great one.
My father would have hated social media tools. He would have had no clue why I was writing about my life for the world to see, why I was posting small messages on something called Twitter, or why I wouldn’t call people instead of sending some message over the phone.
What he would have loved was the message. My father was a simple man, a mechanic for most of his life and a warehouseman after that. He loved the simple things in life. Making steaks on the grill, going for a bike ride after dinner, playing golf on a Saturday, he loved his routine.
By most standards, he lived a pretty boring life.
We didn’t do many exciting things growing up, like traveling the world, or even taking vacations for that matter. While some of my friends were off jet-setting with their parents, exploring the boundaries of the earth, my dad and I were home playing who can punch each other in the shoulder harder or lets see what other stuff we have in the garage to shoot with the BB gun.
We did a lot of ‘boring’ things, but it’s the boring things that were the subject of my best childhood memories. We would play home run derby in my backyard till all hours of the night. I’d learn how to play hockey goalie in my driveway with a pair of cut down goalie pads and a heavy winter jacket in the summer to act as the chest protector we couldn’t afford. Baseball glove in one hand, winter glove in the other I’d stand there as my father took shots as hard as he could, resembling a shooting gallery as I was pelted by tennis balls left and right.
My dad and I would go out at midnight after the rain and pick worms to take fishing whenever we got a chance. He’d come home from work, change and eat, and we’d hop on our bikes to spend hours fishing, talking and just spending time together.
Several of my friends had an exciting childhood by definition, complete with the shiniest new bike or toys, but they would jump at the chance to play touch football in the street with my dad as all time QB, with the obligatory telephone pole to telephone pole end zones. For them, the boring time was what they did not have at home, but yet what they so desperately wanted.
Failing kidneys in 1998 meant dialysis, and sitting hooked into a machine for 3 hours every other day. My dad took the time to chat up every nurse and person he could find to see how their day was going, utilizing all of that downtime to make their day brighter.
August 2nd, 1998 my father passed away from a combination of inoperable brain tumors combined with End Renal Failure (kidney failure). I was 14 and had just come off of my freshman year spent home-schooling myself between extended hospital stays, endless days filled with nothing and everything in-between. My dad loved his life, and lived it to the fullest. You may think otherwise with your trips around the world or your jaunts across the ocean, but trust me, his life was fulfilled and so was my childhood.
And even though I’ve lived abroad twice and done some pretty amazing things so far, I’d trade all of those exciting and new memories in for some boring ones, because sometimes in life it’s the boring things you miss the most.
All You Need Blogger: Ryan Knapp
Ryan Knapp is a soccer entrepreneur, passionate for using soccer as a vehicle to promote social change. He is founder of Futbolist LLC, a full service soccer company dedicated to the promotion and expansion of soccer in the United States. Follow his journey at RyanJKnapp.com or Twitter @ryanknapp.
Song: Song For Dad – Keith Urban
Hey Ryan, I’m Elisa’s sister and we’re also roomies
When she told me about your post all I could think was, “I’m going to bawl when I read that”. But I didn’t. This post was very well written. Before I read that you were only 14 when you lost your father I thought that you were much older. You wrote about an amazing childhood with your father that, I thought, filled so many more years. It is heartbreaking that you lost your father but you portrayed him as this man that was happy with himself, his life and his son. Someone who took every opportunity to show that you don’t have to jet set around this world to understand how awesome it can be and how awesome punching someone in the arm can be.
I honestly think we need more dads like that in this world. Someone who gets your love with love, not vacations to Disney every year and that’s the only form of affection. Thanks for sharing something so personal and close to you. We are all better for it and I’m so happy that you finally got to give this amazing tribute to your father, he’s totally smiling on you right now
Hi Amy,
Thanks for the kind words! I think that over the past 12.5 years since my dad passed away I’ve bawled enough for everyone in this world, so I’m glad you didn’t.
I was 14 when it happened (13 when he was first diagnosed) and it made me grow up quickly. I’ve talked to loads of other people who have had similar stories and we all remark how it made us who we are today.
Nowadays it seems that childhood is defined by the gadgets you have, or the clothes that make you, but my childhood will always remind me of play. We played sports, made up games, and enjoyed the simple act of playing, which is missing today.
And yes, punching each other in the arm is awesome. We used to call them ’911 shots’ and hit right up near the top of the chest next to the shoulder until our arms went numb. We were a simple family.
Ryan, this is an absolutely beautiful tribute to your father. Although I’ve been fortunate to travel the world and do some “exciting” things with my parents, it’s the “boring” things that I love the most. Watching a favorite TV show or sports team together, taking a walk around the block, or just sitting around and talking. Those are life’s precious moments. Your father sounds like an amazing guy, and although you lost him far too early, it seems like he left a lasting impact on you and taught you a lot about the person you wanted to be. Thank you for sharing these lessons with all of us!
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Ryan – this post is so beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing your story (and your dad’s) with us – I smiled when I read the part about your dad making everyone’s lives brighter throughout his life, even in the hospital. Like father like son: you truly have the same gift, and I’m lucky to know you because of it!
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Ryan,
There’s no much more I can say that isn’t an echo of the others’ comments, but again, it’s a beautiful tribute to your dad and the relationship you had with him. You know what I think is funny? People talk about all the important things in their lives — the money they earn, the trips they take, the positions they hold and the objects they can buy. But these are the memories you keep close to you, these are the moments that really matter — with the people who matter the most.
Your dad sounds like an amazing man. Undoubtedly, you’re following in his footsteps.
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I love that you were able to understand in those moments how awesome that is… Though I did have some semblance of how cool it was my Dad was throwing hours of batting practice to me then it wasn’t until my senior of year of high school that was truly grateful for everything my parents have done for me. Not only is this an awesome tribute to your father, but it’s a great way to remind the rest of us how thankful we should be for our parents. I used to rush off after dinner to get on the computer, but now I relish sitting around the table and spending time with my family.
Cheers Ryan!
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Thank you for this post, and what an awesome tribute to your dad. When I was younger, I was jealous of my friends that got to travel and do “cool” things with their parents. I’ve since realized the value of spending time with both of my parents doing “boring” things – baking with my mom, coloring or playing catch with my dad. Like you, I’ve lived abroad now and done some pretty cool things – but it’s always nice to come home and live the boring life for a while!