Travel Girlfriends and Letting Go
Travel is wonderful.
Being able to move from place to place on a whim, meeting hundreds of new people, everything a learning experience…leaving the States is the best decision I ever made.
But there is one thing about travel that tends to ruin the party, and that’s the loneliness.
When you’re moving around there are ALWAYS people around you, but the chances of making of a real, solid connection with any one of them is slim.
You’ll make a lot of one-off friends, people who you might exchange a smile with, engage in a brief conversation, or even add as a friend on Facebook, but there is still something missing there that only a series of conversations and some sort of mutual understanding can replace.
I hadn’t even thought of this possibility when I left, and now that I’m on my way out of South America, bringing the first part of Exile Lifestyle to an end, I realize that I had a coping mechanism that seemed to work really well.
I took on a series of travel girlfriends.
For me, having a travel girlfriend has meant finding a member of the opposite sex to pal-around with either while in transit, while staying in a particular place, or a combination of the two. We then hang out together, making other friends along the way, but definitely preferring the company of each other, engaging in drawn-out conversations and making the time to develop inside jokes.
In other words, we fill the role in each other’s life that would normally be filled by a significant other, except we do so without necessarily having any sexual contact at all.
“But what’s the point,” you might be asking, “if there’s no contact? I mean, isn’t THAT a huge concern when you’re traveling?”
To this I say, no, it’s the not the biggest concern. A lot of people tend to get a little wonton while traveling because they are lonely, but if you find someone you can really relate to, hang out with, flirt with, etc, your biological need to reproduce is filled and you don’t feel that same need to just nail something.
Is it all the way gone? No. Of course not. But it definitely takes the edge off.
Which is good, because if you’re not careful when traveling…let’s just say it’s a good way to catch something. I hear things.
“But if this relationship isn’t going anywhere long-term, what’s the point?”
You must learn to live more in the moment my friend! If someone else can help you enjoy a moment (and you can reciprocate in kind), isn’t that a whole lot better than suffering through that moment, holding out for THE ONE?
I think so.
So I salute the many travel girlfriends I’ve had since I started this journey!
Thanks for being there for me and allowing me to be there for you! Thanks for chit-chatting through the boring times, playing cards or drinking wine while at hostels or waiting all day for the next bus to arrive at the station. Thanks for being my wingman and giving me social validation by being cute and always at my side.
Thank you for being Miss Right Now and never asking me to be any more than Mister Right Now.
Is it love? I think so.
Because if you really love someone you have to let them go, and that’s how it always ends.
All You Need Blogger: Colin Wright
Colin Wright runs a branding-focused design studio from a new country every 4 months. Check out his thoughts on lifestyle design, minimalism and travel (and vote on which country he’ll move to next!) at ExileLifestyle.com or follow him on Twitter @colinismyname
Song: Neutral Milk Hotel – In An Aeroplane Over The Sea
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