Home » Relationships, Social Media

How Blogging Got Me A Best Friend

23 April 2010 33 Comments

As this is publishing (via scheduled blog post) I am flying from PWM (Portland, Maine) to IAD (Dulles International, Washington D.C.) for a quick layover before heading out to SFO (San Francisco) for the weekend.

The story of how I came to be on this plane is (to me) heartwarming/(to social media believers) awesome/(to others) creepy.

Last summer as part of my #BlogCrush series I featured one Ms. Jenny Blake and Life After College.  We were bound to cross paths eventually, our online circles of friends practically overlapped each other.  Though it is safe to say that while I might have blipped on her radar, she was a super-power on mine.  She is too kind to admit it, but anyone who knows us knows this is true.

It was during my next blog post about picking up boys at supermarkets that it began to become apparent that Jenny and I were destined to be friends.

You know those friends you make that you can just chat with for hours about anything and everything?  That you can call in a hysteric frenzy about the insanity of your career choices, the heartbreak of breaking up with a boy, the excitement of achieving one of your dreams and about 1 bajillion other things?

Within about 3 phone calls and a couple Skype “slumber parties” I had that with Jenny.

And I’ve never met her.

So when she offered to let me crash at her place if I ever wanted to visit San Francisco, I leapt at the opportunity.  We hemmed and hawed about dates and times and whatnot.  And finally on New Year’s Eve I did a quick Expedia search.  Not more than 10 minutes later my flight was booked and Jenny had put in for time off.

Four days of awesomeness with my online-virtual-turned-IRL-BFF.

Photo Credit: Getty Images – Tim Robberts

To people who don’t get blogging and Twitter and social media and networking it sounds creepy and weird.  I get that.  But I also think that they are missing out an AMAZING experience.

I’ve met so many great people through social media.

There is Rebecca Thorman, who on top of having a kickass blog was one of the first people to believe in me and my writing enough to feature me as a “guest post” (on her company’s blog no less!)

There’s David Stehle, my virtual-boy-BFF/gym partner who offers advice and insight into a boy’s brain and helps me have confidence in myself when that feeling sometimes falters (and makes boob jokes when I need to laugh!)

There’s Andrew Norcross, a man that no one in social media should NOT be networked with as he is a ninja of all things techie, snarky plug-in developer and the saving sanity to my website’s existence and programming time and time again.

There’s Ryan Knapp, who I met in an #u30pro chat and quickly came to turn to and in turn offer support at late hours over GChat and is staying at my digs when he competes in his first Half-Ironman in New Hampshire.

There is Melissa Mullen, who emailed me after finding my blog through a mutual Twitter contact and after a quick afternoon tea party at Bard Coffee became the go-to for my fantastic new professional photos & headshots.

I could seriously go on and on with a hundred links to the fantastic, accomplished and endearing individuals that I have connected with through social media.  And the close relationships, colleagues, and friendships I have developed by taking online blog comments and emails beyond random electronic interactions.

Because while everyone thinks that blogging and social media will bring you fame and riches, the reality is that it brings you so much more.  It brings you a network of individuals with completely different life experiences and opinions that can help you professionally.

But more importantly, and often as an unknown “bonus,” they will help you personally too.

_____________________________________

Another awesome AWESOME connection I’ve made through Social Networking is one Colin Wright.   You can read how awesome he is in my #BlogCrush write-up on Exile Lifestyle.

And you can learn more about Networking Awesomely in his new E-Book which “hit the online shelves” this past week. I’ve read it, I can vouch it actually IS pretty awesome (believe me, I wouldn’t promote it if it wasn’t…I’m kind of a bitch that way.)

It also features entries from yours truly and Jenny Blake.  (Hers has a Google Doc template and useful real-life applicable networking tips – mine is about The Rolling Stones.  Is there any wonder we are best friends?!)

_____________________________________

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  • http://www.dmbosstone.com Dmbosstone

    Oh I love this story- I am a big believer in connecting with others through social media and it’s really one of the skills you need to have in order to be successful at it, and looking at you sounds like you have no problem there!
    .-= Dmbosstone´s last blog ..Bringing The Social Back To Social Media Part II: Changing How We Find Jobs =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      PPho! I agree, the most successful online users are the ones who value their connections and relationships. At least the successful ones who also garner respect. I do all right, got some great people around me!

  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    Great story :) I hope you have an awesome time visiting Jenny! California – I’m totally jealous! :)

    I do have one question though. It’s true that most of my friends who aren’t into the social media world think meeting people through social media / online networks is creepy. But how do we change their minds and get them to see the value of it? Is the only way they can understand is for them to be on social media themselves?
    .-= Akhila´s last blog ..Where are the Millennial public interest lawyers the world so desperately needs? =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Akhila – That is one of the million dollar questions! I think the best thing we can do is to be genuine and friendly and open about social media. Most everyone I’ve “gotten online” has ended up loving it once they’ve tried it. There’s a lot of rumors about “how it is” online and I’ll admit that I don’t think we always do ourselves a lot of favors with our biases and snobbiness. I say that knowing I’ve definitely been guilty of both!

      What do you think?

  • http://twentyorsomething.com Susan Pogorzelski

    First, I have to add my initial thoughts: Awwww! What a great homage to friendship and the power of social media!

    Delving into this online world, I’ve met some incredibly selfless, talented, intelligent individuals from all over the world (many whom you mention above, running in the same circle) who I may never have met otherwise if not for these platforms. It has been an incredibly enriching experience, and it really makes me believe that I’ve become a better person through all of it.

    That said, I completely understand where you’re coming from with Jenny. When you have a connection like that with someone, you don’t let it go. I have that deep friendship with a few through blogging and Twitter, but there’s nothing like taking that offline, meeting in person, sharing a laugh or a hug IRL. That’s what makes it last. That’s what makes it special. Awesome.

    And I can attest that these relationships that form online are lasting and real. When I was around thirteen, I met my friend Josh, who I call my Georgia BFF. We were in a writing chatroom and all of a sudden I received an IM. Through the years, we’ve exchanged emails, all-hours-of-the-day phone calls, and eventually Skype chats, and I can’t wait to finally meet him in person. Now, fifteen years later, I know without a doubt that he is one of my soulmates — he’s been there in my darkest moments and he’s laughed at many, many of my antics. I say this because people may call it strange. Others might question you. But no matter how it is formed, a friendship is a friendship and you’re lucky to have had the opportunity to find that person and let that friendship grow and turn into something remarkable.

    So hear, hear to your friendships — online and off and those that start online and turn into IRL experiences! I hope you have a fabulous trip and lots of fun!

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Susan – That’s one of my favorite parts! I’ve met people that there is no way I would have met otherwise! Jenny, for example. If not for our blogs and Twitter-chatter and phone calls and Skype sessions then I would most definitely NOT have flown across the country to spend an amazing weekend with friends in San Francisco.

      That’s so cool you have that with your Georgia BFF too! It’s a funny place, and I totally understand that funniness. Ten years ago I would have said “That’s crazy, how can you be friends with someone you’ve never met?!”

      And while I admit that meeting IRL totally brings the whole experience to another level I think that online friendships can be SO AMAZING. They lay the foundation for much more and allow us to really just communicate without all the rest of the distraction and craziness of life sometimes.

  • http://www.workinonaramp.com Jenny

    Oh I absolutely love this. So awesome! It really is difficult to explain to casual Facebook users how many amazing people I’ve met through Twitter/blogging. Just outright awesome people. Ninja people like Andrew who jump in and respond to an empty complaint about WordPress or my computer in general, hop on a Skype call minutes later and fix something that would have taken me 3 headaches and 5 hours to fix. Love it and I hope you two have a great weekend together. And say hello for me! I still want to make it out there to meet Jenny, Nicole and Jamie in person.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Jenny – Norcross is seriously the kindest most indispensable and all-around awesome social media ninja contact for so many people! It is difficult to explaink, especially for those not engaged in other parts of the medium either.

      I have to say, I think that’s where a big part of it comes from. Engaging on multiple platforms, seeing what other people do and say, meeting completely new and random people that force you outside your box and still give you the comfort of kindness.

      I love social media. I want to curl right up with it and snuggle all night long!

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

    So well-written, Elisa and I love how you portray the story that so many of us are lucky enough to experience, but find it hard to verbalize (I love the ‘creepy’ part haha because many of my friends still think that).

    Have such a fun time with Jenny! So cute! I know it will be a blast and of course, fulfilling :)
    .-= Grace Boyle´s last blog ..Friday Linky Love + Announcing My Giveaway Winner =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Grace – Yes, creepy seemed to sum it up well! I feel like I barely did the story of Jenny & I justice, and I’m pretty sure some of my readers think I’m a lesbian now, but I felt it needed to be shared and celebrated. :)

  • http://diamondkt.blogspot.com David

    Great story! I love how the most unconventional way of meeting someone can lead to such a deep connection. It just blows me away! And that whole cliché thing that people always say…”that when you’re not looking for someone, that’s when you’ll find them” is sooo true! Of course that usually applies more to romantic relationships, but I think it could apply to soul sisters?

    The point is, you never know how or when someone will walk into your life and the impact they will have on your life. But once you bump into one another, you often wonder what you would ever do without them. I’ve always believed people come into our lives for a reason, but defining the role they will play is up to us – whether it be friendship, romantic interest, or just a mere acquaintance.

    With encouragement from people like you and Jenny, I’ve become more comfortable with the idea of taking online connections to offline. In the past it scared me and seemed waaay creepy to do or even suggest! But these days it seems like a logical and perfectly normal step. So with that said (despite the fact that I’m a boy and a 3rd wheel at all of our girly virtual slumber parties), I hope one day the three of us can take turns braiding each other’s hair while giggling over a box of cupcakes. In the meantime and all boob jokes aside, I raise my glass this weekend…

    To two of my favorite girls. To Elisa and Jenny for finding a besties in the most unconventional way. To IRL slumber parties. And of course to two sets of boobs in one bedroom! Cheers!

    Love,
    Your virtual boy BFF/gym partner – David
    .-= David´s last blog ..Being You Is Enough =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      David – Aw, virtual-boy-BFF you are such a great person! I’m so glad you’ve come out of your online shell around me, cause otherwise sit-ups in gym class would have been very one sided!

      Your comment makes me so happy, and I’ve already gushed like a girl at a slumber party about how much I appreciate our friendship, so I’ll just leave it at that and say “Cheers” with you!

  • http://exilelifestyle.com Colin Wright

    Brilliant.

    I actually just met someone here in Christchurch, New Zealand off of Twitter last night (asked if anyone wanted to go to watch a roller derby bout with me, and she spoke up). Twitter is just now starting to hit NZ, so most of her friends were a little weirded out by the fact that she would meet someone in real life that she’s only spoken to online.

    And of course we got along splendidly. Life’s too short for those kinds of hangups. Unless you frequent serialkillerfacebook.com or something.

    Thanks for the shout on my ebook! Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks again for contributing :)
    .-= Colin Wright´s last blog ..OMFG Networking Awesomely Ebook =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Colin – serialkillerfacebook.com?! You crack me up!!!

      That’s so awesome to meet up with people in NZ through social media. I’m guessing it is a great resource for you to get to know folks when trekking around the world. And meeting up for roller derby? Well that’s just cool.

      Thanks for the inclusion in the book, another great piece (like I’d expect anything less from you!)

  • http://isaokato.com Isao

    I once stumbled upon a blog dedicated to expatriates, I left a comment as a fellow expatriate and I followed the author out of courtesy (and curiosity), the next day we were chatting over Twitter, and in three days we were talking about guest blogging, and that’s how it ended (and ongoing).
    http://www.expatharem.com/2010/03/17/floating-and-free-falling-at-the-same-time/

    I agree, I met wonderful people and kick-ass blogs (including this one) through social media. And I could do it while living in the other side of the ocean.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Isao – That’s so awesome! Much as I commented to Colin, I can just imagine how great social media is while traveling.

      It’s something about the medium. It’s almost creepier to just wander up and listen to someone’s conversation or strike up one of your own with a stranger. But to comment or @ reply someone out of the blue…totally accepted. And flattering!

      I love that. Being introverted (rather shy) I’m much better online than I am in real life. Til I warm up. Then I’m, of course, pretty frickin awesome. Sounds like you are too – glad we’ve met up here!

  • http://www.ryanjknapp.me Ryan

    Not much I can add here buddy. Can’t wait to come out and rock it for a few days and then rock it @ Timberman 70.3! Enjoy your time in SF.
    .-= Ryan´s last blog ..Create Your Own Reasons =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Ryan – YAY FOR TIMBERMAN!!! So excited to hang for a couple days! You are amazing and use social media SO the right way. Yays all around! Can’t wait for US to meet IRL in August!

  • http://www.lifewithoutpants.com Matt Cheuvront

    It’s been great knowing you since I got started on this grand blogging scene and I have no doubt the future will only hold more and more incredible things for you. Cheers!
    .-= Matt Cheuvront´s last blog ..Friday Quick Hits: Barely Coming Up For Air (But A Lot of Great Stuff to Read) =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Matt – Yes, it’s been great getting to know you too! From Inconvenience of Change to random Twitter chats and much more. You were there “in the beginning” and I appreciate that. Here’s to great things for everyone!

  • http://lifeaftercollege.org Jenny Blake

    First of all, I miss you so much it’s not even funny. How on EARTH am I supposed to get any work done today?

    Second, reading this while you were sitting across from me in my living room was one of the greatest things ever. As was forcing everyone who asked how we knew each other to read it all weekend long.

    Third, I HEART YOU TO MILLIONS AND TRILLIONS OF PIECES!

    You are seriously one of my closest friends, and have been so supportive in ways that honestly blow me away. You have been there for me in many of my lowest moments – and were there to squeal with me in IRL glee when I really needed a friend to celebrate with.

    Thank you for everything Elisa Doucette. It makes me all misty thinking about how much you mean to me, and a blog comment will just simply not do my feelings justice! So instead? A cartwheel in my living room to celebrate how blogging got us each a best friend, and a promise to make Portland, Maine a mandatory stop on the book tour ;-)
    .-= Jenny Blake´s last blog ..Networking Awesomely: Get the Right Systems in Place =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Jenny Blake!

      First of all – I cried at the airport after I left. In security. They thought I was crazy. In like a “what is she doing” not a “I think she has a shoebomb” way. Which is good. Cause crazy people in the security checkpoint rarely fare well.

      Second – Your face reading this was priceless. And I love that we convinced people to consider signing up for blogging and Twitter by making them read this. It was like our own little anthem all weekend long. Well, that and songs at the top of our lungs in Red Velvet.

      Third – I HEART YOU A TRILLION OF BILLION TIMES BACK!!!! Who else would let me live in their basement, play on social media, write blog posts and the only payment is learning to cook for them?!

      It is amazing how close a friend you are. Like when I land a date, you are one of the first to know. Or when I’m freaking out about a job. Or when I just feel like celebrating/venting/squealing/etc.

      You better come to Portland missy! There’s lots to share and show. But once I move in-town. It’ll be even MORE crazy then!

      I miss you even more now! Thank god it’s almost the weekend and time for another slumber party!

  • http://www.ellelamode.com Ellen

    It’s so great to hear that you’ve fostered so many amazing friendships through blogging and social media. Whenever I try to explain it to some of my friends/family, they just don’t GET how you can bond with someone so quickly even though all that’s connecting you are some words on a screen (and eventually, phone calls, visits, etc.).

    I was in SF the weekend before you were there (what are the odds) on a spur-of-the moment trip I booked to visit someone I’d met briefly at SXSW but had stayed in touch with online. It takes a whole lot of trust to fly across the country for the sole purpose of spending time with people you know mostly from the web…but it’s such an exciting experience.

    If you ever happen to be in Madison, make sure to get in touch with Rebecca/Modite and me :)

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Ellen – That’s crazy! Rebecca was there the weekend afterwards. It’s like we unleashed a little girl-social-media tidal wave on the city! I wonder who is visiting after that! :)

      I totally understand…people think it is just words pasted to a screen that mean nothing. But words are a big part of how we as humans communicate. I still think there is no replacement for a friend jumping up and down in glee when good things happen or the way a boy pushes a hair out of your eye just before he leans in to kiss you for the first time.

      But the relationships formed online…they certainly carry as much of the emotion as any other interaction.

      And yes, excited to visit Madison at some point to hang with you, Rebecca and some of the other Madison/Brazen folk!

  • http://scrawledintoacorner.wordpress.com Tina

    Whoa! I feel completely honored to have scored a link amongst all the other Twitterati in that paragraph! :)

    I also love how social media is opening up so many more doors to connect with people we never would have otherwise. My social network has expanded exponentially since I started connecting with all the other Twitter folk around the Portland area. It really is mind-blowing!

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Tina! One of my favorite parts of our “connection” is that we totally could be connected through Jennifer. But instead we managed to forge our own friendship here. And learn through each others’ blogs how VERY similar we are. Which is difficult for dorky introverted yet super-cool girls. :)

      Our little Portland social media community is pretty amazing. I love meeting new people and learning about new things in it all the time. Here’s to #snugsunday, the IRL manifestation of our online connect!

  • http://myonepage.com/felicelam Felice Lam

    It’s great that you’ve met so many wonderful people via blogging, social media, etc… There are definitely some people out there who are missing out but in the end, we all have our own ways to make new connections.

    Some people won’t experience what we experience, but vice versa.

    Turning online friendships into IRL is always sweet. Then again, online or not, it’s still you and that’s IRL. At this “wordpress” conference that I attended last fall, the closing speaker mentioned that there shouldn’t be this IRL mention because whether you’re dealing with someone online or offline, in the end, you’re still dealing with the same person.

    Hugs from Seattle, WA. :)

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Felice – So very true. For a shy introvert like me, social media is a PERFECT way to meet new people. For extroverted bosterous life-of-the-party people it might be a little less appealing.

      And you are so very correct. The friendships formed online already ARE IRL in a sense. The sense that you are YOU typing and chatting and communicating. I definitely advocate, however, for taking the online interactions to a more personal level. RT’s and promotion and whatnot are nice for awhile, but I prefer my relationships to have a bit more substance and be more personal.

      When that happens, who cares if it is Skype calls in jammies or chatting over coffee – those connections are as IRL as it gets!
      .-= Elisa´s last blog ..Hate On Me =-.

  • http://myonepage.com/felicelam Felice Lam

    “Skype calls in jammies.” Ooooh, bring it on! =)

    Good point on the introverts vs. extroverts – touché there!

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