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Location Indy Haters

16 April 2010 17 Comments

After writing the #BlogCrush this week on popular location-independent entrepreneur Colin Wright, I received an email that I felt kinda bad about.  Mostly because the sender obviously focused on one tiny non-related part of the post rather than the awesomeness of Colin.

I’m sorry that YOU think YOU are so great and have lived in a tiny hick state your whole life.  Maybe if you dared to do ANYTHING exciting with your life than you wouldn’t be so annoyed with all of us LIP’s.

*sigh*

It’s a comment and question I am asked frequently, if I’ve lived in Maine my whole life and if I ever plan on moving away.  Yes, I have lived in Maine my whole life (including college) and no I don’t plan on moving away.  If I were presented with a great opportunity I would in a heartbeat, but I don’t need to go somewhere else to find myself.

Seriously, it is a challenge for me to get out of my therapeutic cocoon of bedsheets and warmth some mornings.  For my friend the single mother who got pregnant at age 17 and still lives in the town we graduated from, it is a challenge to raise her daughter.  For my friends who are married and have to negotiate their married lives with their crazy single friends as part of the equation, it is a challenge.

Additionally my State is an aging state.  Young people get the hell out of dodge like it’s no one’s business after graduation (either high school or college.)  I refuse to apologize for wanting to stay in the state and make things BETTER for future generations who will want to be here.  I don’t think that makes me a lesser human being.

Furthermore I have no “hate” for location-independence.  In fact, I admire the courage to jump in a plane and fly into foreign lands to experience life there.  And I think highly of my peers who just jump into a car and move across the country to follow their dreams.

What irks me is the condescending soapbox that some will stand on, making comments about how I am living a somehow less or shallow existence by not experiencing what you have chosen as your experience in life.   How dare you tell me that my decisions aren’t challenging me enough or letting me take chances or spread my wings.

Just because travel to unknown places and destinations is what pushes you out of your comfort zone does not mean that it does that for the rest of us.  I am actually more comfortable in a place I know nothing about with the ability to be a totally new person than I am in my own city.

Maybe, just maybe, some of us are challenged and happy in lives that involve such horrors as settling down or starting a family or *gasp* working 9-5 in a cubicle at a job that we LOVE and are advancing quickly in.  It’s almost like we need many different types of people in the world to make it a more interesting place.

It used to be that young professionals dreamed of picket white fences and a pension.  Now it’s entrepreneurship and location-independence.  The latter is no longer “bucking the trend” it’s “drinking the Kool-Aid.”

I don’t hold any hate for the location independent people I encounter.  For many, however, I choose not to listen when you tell me my life isn’t good enough and yours somehow is.

* * * * *

As a final thought check out this video from the Opening Day Ceremonies of the 2010 Boston Red Sox.

I know, I know…not all of you are cool enough to be Red Sox fans.  Heck, though I’m a Red Sox fan I still think the Yankees put together a decent ball club most years.  But I’ll still hate Johnny Damon til the day he retires.

It isn’t a matter of respect or uniforms or anything else…sometimes it’s just a matter of appreciating and loving the team you have and not necessarily wanting or needing the characteristics and “perks” of another team.  The last 15 seconds are absolutely PRICELESS!

In case they (MLB) takes down this video as they seem to do with many great videos (because why would you want your sport to gain views across the web) you can also watch the video on the Red Sox website)

Did you know I have a private newsletter that goes out ONLY to subscribers? It offers stories of travel adventures, writing brilliance, links to great content around the internet and other crazy shaningans.


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  • http://www.adventurecapitalist.net Wille

    It’s regretable when people (as people often will do) assume that _their_ life choices are the only correct ones, the only ones that are good and valid.

    We all chose to walk different paths, the main thing is that we do whatever makes us happy: if that is roaming around the world, moving every four months, or growing old in the house your great-grandparents lived in, so be it, as long as people are happy with their choices in life.

    Unfortunately it’s a common human trait for people to look down their nose at people who don’t chose the exact same life and lifestyle as they did..
    .-= Wille´s last blog ..Product design: keep it simple (really simple!), stupid =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Wille – I’m so glad that you commented! Mostly because you are one of the location indy folks I really enjoy interacting with. :)

      It is an unfortunate human trait, to think that our choices are somehow THE choices and everyone else is just scraping by. I also wonder (in general, not just about location indy folks) if maybe it is easier to look down your nose and sputter and spew about how brilliant your decision is because a small piece of you wonders if you might have wanted to take their path instead.

  • Amy

    Usually I don’t like to be the first one to comment. I don’t know why, I just don’t. But this one got to me. I had no idea you got this email and I’m glad I didn’t cause I would have gotten in your email to find this email and email them myself.

    You are 100% right!! And good for you for saying so. This person is ridiculous. The audacity that must have gone with that email is beyond comprehension. Someone’s life can be completely fulfilled without traveling or living in a huge city. Everyone makes fun of the small town person for going to the big city and being in awe of “them great big towers”. But what about the big city people who come to Maine and don’t know how to react to small town cultures? Does that make them better? No. Does it make them more sophisticated? No.

    I may be from a “small town state” but I am intelligent, witty, fun and driven. And don’t think for a second that I would pass such a harsh judgment on someone else based on a Blog post because that’s what my small town folks taught me. Don’t judge others until they give you a reason to judge them second. *Served*

    • Amy

      I guess I wasn’t the first to comment. I got distracted working… my b.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Amy – It’s funny, the email was irking most definitely, but I’m so used to statements about the “losers who never move” or the “people afraid of taking chances” that I just kind of rolled my eyes. I try to adhere to the belief for anyone who feels the need to assault me (physically or literally) that they probably have some demons much bigger than mine to be dealing with.

      I kind of feel bad for them. I’ve can’t remember being so unhappy with my life that I felt compelled to take it out on others.

      And I agree so much – there’s great stuff to learn from “small towners” about life and the beauty and simplicity of it. I sometimes think that people get so caught up in the living bigger and better that they forget that stuff. I am extremely thankful that I have that perspective.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

    Elisa, I can’t believe someone sent you that e-mail. Ah, the intricacies of putting ourselves out there publicly.

    It’s ironic isn’t it – “LIP ASSHOLE” (as I’m calling him/her) that sent you that e-mail, maybe touts being open-minded and likes to spread their wings, but really, they’re extremely close minded to think you’re not doing something exciting with your life. You and I, and all your friends and family know otherwise. How narrow-minded do you have to be to send something like that? I’m sorry, that bums me out they sent that :(

    On another note, as you know and we have talked about before (Formspring, blog comments, etc.) I simply ask about living in one place your whole life because it’s interesting to me and different than my life. Never is different wrong – I just don’t have any friends who have lived in one place their whole life, so I love to learn the why’s and how’s.

    I hope it has never come across as pompous, it’s clearly just a path and way of living, especially because I see how FULL your life is, how much you have accomplished and how fulfilled your life is. Really, you’re one of the most accomplished and successful people and that is self-evident. That to me, is beautiful. Living your truth, doing what you need and want. Your life is better than good and I’m appalled that anyone (LIP or not) would think otherwise. This is a really good post Elisa. Thanks for writing it.
    .-= Grace Boyle´s last blog ..Friday Linky Love =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Grace – Aw, thanks for the feistiness on my behalf. :)

      In reality, as I wrote to Amy, I was irked but not really upset. I mean really, what level does a person have to hit to send something like that?

      And I understand where you come from, that some people DO stay in their hometowns and lead a very cautious and stable life out of fear of taking chances. They are the ones who wish for more but will never do anything about it. Those people make me sad too.

      But the way I see it, some LIP folks do the same thing, just thousands of miles from home. Running away, “escaping” their past, avoiding the truths and realities…those things are just as dangerous and generally motivated by the same factors. Fear and an inability to love ourselves.

      I think you and I both are pretty fabulous ladies, and though our paths might be different our confidence, intelligence and a myriad of other traits are great laurels to hang out caps on at the end of the day.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

    PS. I love that Joshua :) That’s an amazing video and there’s nothing like a game at Fenway and Red Sox baseball. Makes me miss New England soooooo much.
    .-= Grace Boyle´s last blog ..Friday Linky Love =-.

  • http://www.adventurecapitalist.net Wille
  • http://blog.rachaelstott.com Rachael

    Elisa,

    The irony of the situation is that those who preach about the value and growth associated with location independence and travel often have no idea the steely strength it takes to stand firm in your home and meet whatever comes, with grace and courage.

    The hardest things I have ever done are things that I was never prepared for, that blindsided me while I was comfy at home. The thing that transformed me the most was *not* running away, when every cell in my being was saying ‘run!’. I have lived in another city, and found it effortless and comfortable. Coming home, on the other hand, to deal with my family and in-laws, to be truly present for the day to day grind of my family and friends that has been a true challenge.

    I am not saying that settling down (very different from ‘settling’) is better or more difficult. Just that it is not the ‘easy’ option some preach it to be. Location independence would too be fought with challenge. They are equal and opposite sides of the same coin.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Rachael – Like Neverland, the foreign places are alluring and fun to be in. They are full of amazing opportunities for us to spread our wings and learn about ourselves. And for some, they stay there forever. But there are also some who decide they just want to go home.

      Like you, I have felt the urge to run away from responsibilities and the life I knew to recreate myself and avoid the skeletons that live in my closets. To be with people who “didn’t know me then” and somehow forget the girl I was. To follow that first star to the right and straight on til morning.

      But I have learned from those experiences of running away that I became a stronger and better person not in the exceptional and glamourous adventures away but in the quiet and sometimes silent victories and battles here.
      .-= Elisa´s last blog ..Take Your Generational Entitlement… =-.

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  • http://instigationology.com andi

    First: How I was not subscribed to you already, I have no idea. Shame on me. This has been remedied.

    Second: Being Location Indie is awesome. It’s awesome because you get to own your life. You get to make decisions that make you feel great, happy, confident, like you are living life to the fullest. And that’s a pretty personal life, travel is totally arbitrary. There’s a part of me that really really really respects ambitious people who don’t leave their hometown. Finding someone who is so passionate about the potential of a place they love…what’s to hate there?

    Third: I’m not consulting either Colin or Ashley on this, but I just added Maine to the Blogging Tour in July.So get ready!
    .-= andi´s last blog ..ollie vs andi: the details! =-.

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Andi – First: Thanks for stopping by and subscribing! I’ve done the same. :)

      Second: That is a very good way of describing it…passionate about the place they live. I had a whole paragraph in there about the greatness that is Maine. I mean, those photos in the LL Bean catalog aren’t photoshopped, I actually live in that every day! As you state, the personal life that you live abroad is much more important than the travel. Don’t get me wrong, travel exposes you to SO MUCH AMAZINGNESS AND BEAUTY IT’S PARALYZING. But traveling to a new place is not going to just cause the changes within. You have to be charged to do that yourself.

      Third: Absolutely! Maine is great, especially in the summer. We can even cook lobsters (you aren’t vegetarians are you?) That’s a travel experience in and of itself!

  • http://www.melissamullenphotography.com/ Melissa Mullen

    Ok . . . . *deeeep breath* . . . first of all, Hi Elisa – love you and all that wonderful stuff. :)

    I read this on Sunday morning in bed and thought to myself . . . well, I won’t even tell you because I sort of went off the handle about telling this turd off before my feet even hit the floor that day. After some thinking I decided that the only appropriate response is . . . I’m so thankful this jackass feels this way about our state. Clearly, they have never been here because it is nowhere tiny and the best part is . . . they most likely will never come here and that . . . makes.me.happy. Stay the hell of out Maine because us hicks will kick your sorry ass.

    Your brave for posting this. Peace and Love.

  • http://www.livecollarfree.com James Schipper

    Yikes. Thanks for not holding it against the whole group with an email response like that. There’s one in every group, it seems. No matter how the group is defined.
    .-= James Schipper´s last blog ..Overcoming the 7 Obstacles to Traveling the World =-.

  • http://twitter.com/CPierceVT Caitlin E Pierce

    I know I’m months late responding to this entry but after reading your eloquent response to the less than friendly email you received I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to thank you for not only sticking up for Maine (my home state as well) but for sticking up for personal choice when it comes to location-independence.

    When I left Maine for Vermont (where I still reside) I didn’t ever think I’d be back, I thought I’d seen and done all that Maine had to offer me. Now that my time spent in Maine is limited to holidays and the occasional long weekend spent at my parents house in York I can truly appreciate all that my home state has given me and prepared me for.

    For those who would call Maine a ” a tiny hick state” I would say that while I have been privileged enough to travel all over the US and Europe I have been hard pressed to find a place that I would rather call home.

    When I read, “Maybe if you dared to do ANYTHING exciting with your life than you wouldn’t be so annoyed with all of us” it became clear to me that whomever sent this email is someone who hasn’t been able to achieve the level of comfort, confidence, or happiness that you have. I imagine their crankiness stems from their jealously that you’ve created such a wonderful space for yourself without having to travel the reaches of the globe to find it.

    Cheers for an amazing blog and for reppin’ our home state.

    Maine truly is that way life should be -
    Caitlin E Pierce´s last [type] ..CPierceVT- -JunLoayza I just read your post on Graces blog and I just wanted to say how amazing it was Thank you so much for sharing