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There Are Things We Have Control Over

8 June 2010 5 Comments

There are things we have control over and there are things we don’t.

My old boss used to say this to me all the time when I’d get all feisty over company policies that I didn’t agree with.  And I used to get feisty.  I believe I’ve been known to throw stuff, scream, curse, stomp…fortunately in my adult life I can’t remember ever throwing myself on the ground and flailing my hands and feet into the floor in a noisy act of defiance.

I see this a lot in business and life in general.  I’m guilty of it myself much more often than I’d like to admit.   It’s especially hard when you are a little bit of a control freak like me.  The idea that you have to let certain things go.  That you put the control in someone else’s hands.  That you know what the correct solution should be but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Photo Credit: Getty Images – Brad Wilson

Sounds pretty depressing, right?  There are things that you just don’t have control over.  So should you just roll over and take it?

For some people that’s what they do.  When life challenges them they back away, too scared or possibly lazy to fight back.   For others the fight is where they get their thrill.

The smart ones, they fight strategically.  They pay attention to the variables that are movable and the walls that pop up.   They will assess the whole situation and determine what changes they can affect and what must be left.

And who knows.  Maybe the changes that you implement to those things that you have control over will affect the things you didn’t.  It’s like the delicate game of dating…you can’t control if someone else likes you.  But if you like yourself and make necessary changes to be happy when you are with them?!

Well there’s nothing sexier than that.

There are things we have control over and there are things we don’t.

And life is so much happier when we embrace that and still strive to make positive changes in our lives.

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  • http://www.insidelisamarieblog.blogspot.com Lisa Marie

    Elisa

    Another well done post. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who is a bit of a control freak and loose my temper a little when I feel passionatly about something.

    Love readind you blog.

    Lisa Marie
    -x-
    Lisa Marie´s last [type] ..Four Girls, One Film, Lots of Fun!

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Lisa Marie – Ah yes, I definitely have been known to lose my cool a little bit when passion is involved. And more importantly when I see something analytically that is totally NOT being handled that way. Most procedures are a series of processes, and sometimes those processes are completely wrong.

      But just *I’m* a genius and see that doesn’t mean that others do. :)

      Glad you enjoy – thanks for the comment!

  • http://ryanstephensmarketing.com/blog/ Ryan Stephens

    I used to get steamed a lot about what I like to call “dumb-assness” at my old job. Thankfully, I had a very patient co-worker (who has the disposition I wish I had). He always used to say, “What can you do about it now?” The truth is usually “Nothing,” and so you might as well get over it. I try to think of his little slogan of sorts now when I get upset about something I can’t control.

    Hope all is well amiga!
    Ryan Stephens´s last [type] ..Employee vs. Independent Contractor

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa

      Ryan – Haha, yes the “dumb-assness” sometimes runs rampant within companies. I rarely see ones (nothing against your old or mine) that is *always* making the best decision all the time.

      Your co-worker sounds like my old boss. I think if there was one thing that use to annoy the heck out of her about me it was my “fits.” The calming influence is a good one (it’s probably how she has managed to put up with me as a close friend “post employment) and makes annual physicals and blood pressure screenings much healthier. :)

      Mantras and slogans are great in times like these…something to ground yourself and keep from spinning out of control.

      Thanks for the comment – hope all is well with you too!