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The Exception

7 September 2010 7 Comments

Whether it is business or love or career or life, so many people long for it to happen.

For that small sliver of hope.  The shouting beacon that our lives are lived in the tiniest parts of the extreme ends of the spectrum, rather than the vast expanse of the middle.  That somehow, we don’t matter unless we are being extraordinary.

We all long to prove that there really is an exception to every rule.

I see it so often in discussions amongst people.  “But what about that perfect candidate” or “Remember that one time” or “It could happen.”  While all these situations and scenarios are true, they apply to a teeny tiny fraction of reality.

So why do we look at every situation holding out hope that the exception to the rule will come swooping in to manifest our greatest hope into actualization?How Do Things Measure Up

Now before everyone starts getting all upset and defeated and thinking I’m squashing your dreams of unicorns and double rainbows let me clarify.  I have always subscribed to the school of thought that you should push yourself to a place that challenges you and brings you alive.  A life complacent in mediocrity is a sad life indeed.

But what is even sadder is all these people and posts and articles and books telling us that if we aren’t the exception to the rule, then we are doing something wrong.  That we are all going to achieve notoriety as “the one” that was different than the rest.

And then we beat our heads against the wall again and again because we feel almost ashamed that we are, in fact, in the pool of “common folks.”  Life knocks us down again and again and it takes a special type of person to keep getting up, bloodied and bruised for the next hit.

The exception to the rule ONLY happens occasionally.  That is why it is an exception.  It is not something that we should strive for.  To say that there is only one way of achieving goals and happiness, and that is to somehow win the game.

I’ve always been a fan of changing the rules instead of winning them.   Exceptions are rarities that should be staples.  But you don’t change the world by wishing you could be the one in a million.

You change the world by making the one the new million.

Photo Credit: Getty Images – Max Oppenheim

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  • http://lifeaftercollege.org Jenny Blake

    This reminds me of the phrase (which I’m sure I’ve probably mentioned here before) “Comparison is a losing game.” Striving to be an exception is just another way of comparing ourselves and trying to be something that we just might not be.

    I think by our very nature, each of us is exceptional in our own way, simply because of our unique experiences and genetic makeup. That said, we should strive to be our best version of exceptional, and not get caught up in trying to be the exception (as you so eloquently said).
    Jenny Blake´s last [type] ..An Open Letter to Love- It’s Not You- It’s Me

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Jenny – Well look at you, in your comment YOU just stated it so much more eloquently than I did. In my mind, you accomplish more being exceptional than trying to be the exception.

      And yes, unfortunately we probably will not be that exception, so why keep measuring ourselves against it?

  • http://www.needlemeethaystack.com Andrew

    Great post! But I’m beating my head against the wall because I still have no idea why you used the picture of a deconstructed food pyramid…

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      Andrew – I already told you…to make you ask questions! :)

      In truth, it’s the aesthetic of the photo more than the content. Different piles of varying heights measured against a rule.

  • http://diamondkt.blogspot.com David

    Talk to me about the Zen-like quality of Bulldog farts. Now that I understand! But this deep post of yours, partially went over my head.

    Maybe the solution is to go through life saying to yourself “you’re not all that special.”

    While that may sound cruel at first, it’s actually quite kind in the sense that you would never get your feelings hurt for being overlooked or not measuring up. You would just go about doing your own thing and doing it the best way you know how – for YOURSELF, not anyone else.
    David´s last [type] ..Youre A Grown Ass Man!

    • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

      David – Hrmm…I’m not sure that that is what I was saying at all. I’m sorry if that’s how you read it.

      It’s moreso thinking that the only way you can *be* special is to be this exception. Which is of course, foolish, because everyone has thing that make them special, but not necessarily “the only one.” That doesn’t make it any less special.

      But we seem to devalue it as a society because it isn’t “special enough” and it isn’t an amazingly extraordinary one in a million trait. It’s a sad state of affairs that we hold ourselves on these pedastals that people fall off of constantly.

  • http://diamondkt.blogspot.com David

    Hmm, I’m still lost. But that probably has less to do with the way you wrote the post and more to do with the fact that I’m a stupid boy who sometimes is unable to properly digest what he’s read.

    You may throw rocks at me now in lieu of replying to this comment.
    David´s last [type] ..Youre A Grown Ass Man!