In Good Time
This is a guest post from Pas de Deux series contributor Darryl Seamans
In the absence of a wife or steady girlfriend, it has occurred to me that I may be missing out on something.
We all desire the fulfillment of spiritual intimacy that love for another person brings. Many times I feel “left out” when out with friends who have found stability in a partner, and while they are necking or outright making out, it is possible to feel very much alone. “Where’s mine?” is the question too often asked. “When will it be my turn to be in the moment?” There can be great pressure to make it happen as soon as possible, just to get a piece of the romantic action
Many times I have tried to make it work with the wrong person at the wrong time. When it all comes crashing down, when you break up with Mr./Ms. “Not-Quite-Right”, when you change your relationship status back to “Single” on Facebook, you realize that you forced the supernatural hand of God/The Universe/Fate and He/It has decided that this romance, which should never have been, should end in a way that will remind you not to do it again. You think of all that time you spent with the wrong person for the wrong reason, and the heartache, if not the headaches, begin.
And heaven help you if that person was just a friend to begin with, because after that things are just plain weird.
For everyone out there who has been through the wringer, and still feels like they will never meet their partner in this lifetime, I would offer this simple expression: In good time, and in such a time as you do not expect, you will meet that special someone. Don’t force something to happen when it’s not meant to be – trust me, it never works. It may be tomorrow, it may be in a few months, or maybe years. But when you do finally cross paths with him/her, it will make all the travails of romance past fade to black, and from that point on it will be you and them on stage to enjoy this fleeting life together.
How would I know? I’m single. But I have seen it happen, and I know it can happen to me.
I have faith.
Maybe it’s blind faith. But how much better have we seen when we make it the thing it isn’t, when we rush into something without regard for whether or not it can work or what it will do to our fragile hearts when it doesn’t? I don’t think we see very well at all in those cases.
If you aren’t attached, don’t coerce yourself into a relationship that doesn’t feel right, or pine for that unknown lover you can’t live without. Instead, enrich your own life. Make new friends, try new things, go to new places. Join a dating site if you like. Lay the foundation and leave the rest to your higher power. And at the right time, as if by the divine plan of that higher power, that person will appear on your radar, and you’ll know it.
Then you will have found true love, and it will have been worth the wait.
Photo Credit: Getty Images – Photographer’s Choice
Pas de Deux Contributor – Darryl Seamans
Darryl Seamans is a former adjunct faculty member / current I.T. wonk living and working in the Portland area. You can always reach out to him via email.
Song: Love Song by Tesla
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