How I Will Most Likely Get Dead In Southeast Asia
No, it is not going to be snakes. (even though we saw a guy walking up the street with one of those yellow albino python death-grip things wrapped around his neck like a scarf…*shudder*)
It is going to be motorcycles (motorbikes as they are mostly called round these parts).
Traffic related accidents are, in fact, the most common cause of injury and death for American travelers in foreign countries. Now, I am normally not a coordinated person. I’m covered with bruises most of the time from running in to walls/doors/other people. This bodes badly for me.
There is a story of my mother bringing me to the doctor for a routine kid thing and him being concerned that I was covered in bruises (thank you for the concern Doc!). As he was asking my Mom about her parenting skills and stress-levels I began running around his office like the curious and precocious child I was (am). Halfway through the interrogation I apparently took a head-long run at his roll-top desk and tried to slide underneath it. I didn’t quite make it and essentially bounced myself hard onto my back on the floor of his office. Waiting for the hysterical screams to emerge, instead he saw me jump back up, shake off a bit, and then start running around again.
He immediately quit questioning my mother.
In Bali, and apparently most of Asia, people drive like crazy people. There are not really any traffic rules, other than drive on the opposite side of the road from the US (driver’s seats in cars are on the right, which doesn’t really help you with sides of the road when you are on a motorbike), so it is like every human for themselves. I’ve experienced this. Crossing the street is like live-action Frogger.
Needless to say, since I haven’t been on a bike (motorized or pedal) for years, I’ve been a bit hesitant to give it a go. This is, of course, silly, and I will most likely NOT get dead from a motorbike accident. I’ll just get some killer road rash and a bit banged up.
Guys digs scars like chicks, right?
In the meantime, I have had my kind housemates benevolence and pity to help get around Seminyak and Kuta. This has caused two profound insights for me.
- I need to do way more planks, boats and core strengthening exercises because riding on the back of a motorbike going 30 KPH is all core, baby!
- I am totally at the mercy of everyone around me and barely in control of anything
The second insight came as I donned Dan’s helmet to head out and meet friends for dinner in Kuta. “Whatever happens, don’t react to anything that you see coming. If you think we are gonna hit the truck coming at us and jump or shift then we will go down” was the first and best piece of motorbike passenger safety I’ve gotten so far.
The thing with riding on the back of bikes with boys (and girls though I have no point of reference for that as of yet) is that anything you do affects both people on the motorbike. Except you don’t have any control of the bike, so if you do something motivated by your fear instinct, then you could force the bike onto the ground in a spin out. How is the driver supposed to be able to account for the things that you do when you are on the back ?
I do not do well with not having control over my situations.
I’m learning quickly to let go of it though. It is the only way to keep everyone safe.
This involves a serious level of trust in people I met just two weeks ago. I’ve gone flying over potholes, nudged through traffic on the highway, stared at an oncoming truck grill, and with all of it barely blinked an eye.
If you are a smart person then you make sure that you don’t get on anyone’s bike that you wouldn’t trust your life with. Honestly, that is exactly what you are doing when you climb on and grasp onto those handles.
Again, not a situation I’ve done well with in the past.
It’s funny the things you realize when you are forced to learn the lessons. Very quickly. In a life or limb sort of way.
photo credit: 27147 via photopin cc
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