Putting In
Guest Post by All You Need Contributor Shannon Whitehead
If he wanted a sandwich, she made him a sandwich. If he needed his shirt ironed, she ironed his shirt. If he didn’t like a meal, she made him something else.
Like most housewives in the 1950s and 60s, she did the laundry, cooked, cleaned, took care of their three kids and did everything expected of a good wife.
Then the kids grew up and moved away, and it was just the two of them. They visited their children and grandchildren, hosted family holidays, and, somehow, their love grew even stronger.
As is bound to happen, age caught up to them. Her, especially.
It started with a knee surgery that drastically reduced her mobility. A few years later, a second knee surgery. Then Type 2 diabetes. Gout. Angina. Arthritis. A heart attack. Today she is rendered nearly immobile.
So in his 70s, he learned to make sandwiches and iron shirts. His world was tipped upside down, but because he loved her, he manned up.
He waits on her hand and foot like she used to do for him. He gets her out of bed every morning, helps her decorate the house for Christmas, and pushes her wheelchair through the mall. Whatever she wants, he gives.
I know the days aren’t easy, but I believe he cannot fathom a day without her.
———
This year, my grandparents will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary — a milestone greater than job promotion or financial gain. A milestone that my generation can hardly comprehend.
With the divorce rate at an all-time high, it’s hard not to be cynical. Men upgrade their women like iPhones and celebrities end marriages after 72 days. The “I hate love” mantra has become trendy for a generation that has watched their parents, aunts, uncles, sisters and brothers go through divorce time and time again.
As a 26-year-old, single female with a fairly “healthy” track record in the dating game, I have every reason to believe I’ll follow in the footsteps of my grandparents (and my parents who have been married for 31 years). But the doubts are there.
The problem is that our generation is, simply, different.
We were raised to believe we could have anything we dreamed of. We were coddled.
If we didn’t like gymnastics, then we enrolled in ballet classes. If we didn’t get along with the other kids, then we switched schools. Our parents gave us the world on a silver platter and we took it like that was the way life was supposed to be.
And with that upbringing came less of an emphasis on responsibility and commitment and more of an emphasis on instant gratification and entitlement.
As a result of being raised without the discipline instilled in the generations before us, I wonder: Do we have what it takes to make the sort of commitment that marriage requires? Can we, collectively, handle that responsibility?
Can we even pay attention long enough to realize there’s a problem in our society when it comes to making relationships last?
I honestly question it. But we’ll save the resolutions for another day — I need to go answer some text messages, check my Facebook, and change my profile picture in case anyone cute is looking at my timeline.
All You Need Contributor: Shannon Whitehead
Shannon Whitehead is one half of the duo from {r}evolution apparel, a sustainable, minimalist clothing line for female travelers. She blogs about entrepreneurship, fashion, the environment and the inside scoop about {r} at www.revolutionapparel.me. You can also follow her on Twitter at @AllofUsRev and on Facebook. When Shannon isn’t working on {r}evolution apparel, she can be found coaching the Austin High lacrosse team, taste-testing craft beer, watching “The Office,” or loitering in Whole Foods.
Song: Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers
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