Over at modite’s blog, she coordinates the FANTASTIC monthly goal meet-up for online folks.  Well, I suppose it works for offline people too, but the accountability really comes forward in this medium.

Really, the meet up motivates and pushes you to call YOURSELF on what is important to you and to take charge of your own life.   Sure, we are all dealt cards that we have no control over.  However most of the time it is what you do with those cards that make the difference.

So, before I get to my November goals let’s check in on my October goals and see how I did…

1. Post #BlogCrush every Tuesday in October and two others posts (incl. guest posts I promised to other sites) October was a BIG blogging month for me.  I hit 12 posts on the Webb and a couple guest posts elsewhere.  Only got 3 out of 4 weeks of #BlogCrushes, but they are some great bloggers.  And towards the end of the month the posts became less frequent as I started adjusting to my new schedule.
2.  Meet co-workers at gym 2 times a week/continue yoga for three 30 min sessions Haha, I failed so miserably at this one it isn’t even funny.  Sure I got out running a couple times this month but slacked way off on the yoga.
3.  Finalize bartered agreement with non-profit and secure two freelancing articles I totally rocked this one!  Mid-October I met with the Maine Women’s Fund and signed on to be a strategic partner with them as their Social Media Manager.  I’m SOO excited, and everyone should follow them on Twitter cause they do amazing work!  When I made the decision to seek out a social media opportunity I knew it had to be with a company or organization I believed in and wanted to be a part of..  MWF fits the bill 100 times over!
4.  Sign accounts up with mint.com and input budget Didn’t get this one either.  In truth, it was probably the easiest to start yet the hardest in terms of upkeep.  I keep going back and forth…should I use mint, I’ve heard such bad stuff about mint, I’ve heard such great things about mint, modite has a spreadsheet I want to steal, etc etc etc.  I’ll welcome comments and suggestions…should I go with mint or is there another better cooler site I just don’t know about?

The other big thing that happened in October towards my goals but not actually listed was getting the extra job. Started this past week working about 20 hours a week in a bookstore, couldn’t do clothing retail again. I cannot emphasize this enough people…be kind to retail workers. You never know what evil or stupidity may have preceded you in line and that person is struggling to just get by. Additionally, I did the math and with current job, writing and social media stuff, extra job and sleep I have allotted myself 24 hours out of the WHOLE WEEK to eat, get ready, pee, hang out with friends, work out, etc.

_____________________________________________________________________

Enough living in the past, October is done and gone with, I have a used Halloween costume to prove it.  So what are my goals for this November?

1.Adjust to and work on new schedule.  Make the most of the 24 hours and use writing time more effectively (ie turn off TweetDeck!)
2. Write a #BlogCrush for every week in November and two other posts for the Webb
3. Find a way to run or swim twice a week, even if it’s only for 30 mins (30 mins has gotta be more productive than none…)
4. Get budget in order and on paper/website somewhere for accountability.

_____________________________________________________________________

To participate in the meet-up:

1. Post a list of your career/life related goals for Oct, along with your checked off Sept goals if you’d like, on your own blog.
2. Come back here and leave a link to your post in the comments (*If you don’t have your own blog, feel free to share your list here in the comments to join in!)
3. Then, check out everyone else’s lists as they leave comments - click their links, visit their blogs, say hello, meet, greet and support each other because that’s what it’s all about!
___________________________________________________________________
Photo Credit: Getty Images:Julie Toy

…say something useful.

I know Mom, it’s supposed to be “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all” but I’m here to say that that phrase is outdated and detrimental. See, as a core society we’ve bought into the idea that anything that we say to each other has to be covered in candy coating or come wrapped with a pretty little ribbon.  Most nice statements don’t carry weight anymore.  “I’m Sorry” and “Thank You” are throw away statements that most don’t mean and “I love…” is a convoluted mess.

I’m not advocating for everyone to now go on a free-for-all saying every  nasty, rude and unsavory thing they have been longing to get off their chest in the cruelest way possible. I don’t see much need for malice in communication, unless of course you are dissing my New England Sports teams, in which case I cannot be held accountable for my words or actions.

Instead I am advocating for open dialogue and respectful discussion.  Encouraging people by challenging them rather than enveloping them in blankets of warm fuzzies which in reality do nothing but hinder our advancement.   Writing compelling arguments to someone’s theory rather than such brilliant statements as “That’s just dumb.”  Taking the time to listen and digest (or read and digest) what someone is truly and wholly saying rather than attempting to reply to one sentence out of context or assume you know.

Being falsely nice is like keeping an employee who isn’t performing their job duties as they should.  You aren’t helping the company by keeping them on.  And even more importantly you aren’t helping the employee who is so obviously wasted in this work relationship when they could be excelling somewhere else.  They’re miserable cause they know, you’re miserable cause you know, but no one dares to say anything.

And fighting dirty just makes you look foolish and ignorant in anything you say.  This includes such fantastic debating tools as blanket statements, prejudices, backhanded compliments and assumptions.  Facts and logic are the only things that truly win an argument.  Especially when they are presented in a manner in which all parties leave wiser, not as little missiles to fire at your opponent.

Really, the world could be such a better place if we actually just laid things out on the table and had REAL conversations with each other instead of living a life of pretense.  I have built the Webb around this idea and will absolutely dialogue with ANYONE who wants to have meaningful conversation.

I’m all for the idyllic beauty of life, but I refuse to relinquish reality to achieve it.

Photo Credit: Getty Images:Bengt-Goran Carlsson

Life in a start-up is hard.

When I agreed to stay on in a sales office in 2003 for the woman opening business in a new location I was hesitant at best.  And I wasn’t very good at it.  In fact I quit less than a year later.

When I went back two years later (I wasn’t kidding, I really AM the poster child for Commitment-Phobia) it was to make a difference in an office.  I had spent 18 too many months working for the corporate machine, and I needed to feel the freedom of 60-hour work weeks and thrill of losing sales and happiness of rejection.

Wait, what?  Start-up life isn’t all sunshine and roses coming out your bottom?  You mean you call them vomit moments because they aren’t always all that glamorous?  But everyone writing about it online seems to tell these stories that lead you to believe you can just drop everything and whisk away to a new city or wake up one morning and decide to get out of bed on the LEFT side of the bed instead of the RIGHT and suddenly you are a multi-hundred dollar a month entrepreneur?!

The truth is start-up life and entrepreneurship is frickin’ hard!  Someone once described it to me as drinking homemade wine, but finding out the crushers forgot to take their socks off.  Sure, with certain dinners and chocolate cakes the taste is palpable if not kind of yummy (seriously, what ISN’T yummy with chocolate cake?)  However there are other dishes you pair the sock-wine with that makes you want to spew Cabernet across the tablecloth.

You might have a great idea or be really good at a particular thing, but you know what?  Skills are cheap, passion is priceless.  Because when you are rolling pennies to buy ramen noodles, watching each hour slowly tick by on the evil little red light of your alarm clock because you can’t sleep trying to work out the PERFECT client transaction in your head, sitting in your office at 7:30 PM while all your friends are out at the monthly happy hour, it doesn’t matter how ept you are at something.

The people who succeed in these businesses, heck these lifestyles, have passion in everything they do.  Passion is the only thing that gets you through it all, because you believe in what you are doing and are willing to sacrifice today for the life you want tomorrow.  People like to think they can do that, but in reality very few will push through.  Some have circumstances that lend themselves to few responsibilities and extreme risks.  Others are planners/providers/obligated and have to move a little slower.

I’m in the latter category.  I long to own my own business, to have the freedom and thrill and happiness of all the good and the bad of it all.  But I can’t just ‘“do it” right now.  I know myself, and it’s taken me awhile to get to the point where I did.  I would seriously question every move I made if I did something that big without planning.  People who depend on me would be left high and dry.  Obligations (like those pesky loans that I hear you still have to pay even if you are trying to open your own business) will hang over my head.

But I work daily to improve my situation.  To learn about start-ups and entrepreneurship.  To hone my skills and craft.  To build connections and networks and relationships.  And above all to remind myself that I want this for myself passionately.  So that when I’m up at 3AM eating ramen noodles wondering if my friends are up I’ll know that I made the right decision.

And that, my friends, is how I’m crushing it.

Photo Credit: Getty Images: John Slater