I’m not cut out for love.

After my first “break up” in my new single life, I sequestered myself in the bedroom for the day, allowing myself to shiver and cry in private. Emptiness filled the room, and once again I considered the possibility that it was me that had the issue.  I was broken. A deluge of tears let loose, soaking my pillow.

Alone, hurt and incredibly sad, I searched for the only living comfort I had left – my cat.  After calling out to him several times to no avail, I gave up and pulled the covers over my head.  

Why am I so obsessed with the state of your soul? Should I just step away and let you live your life without any comment or interference from me? It’s only been a few years since we lived in the same house, and it’s already as if fossils are already forming in the eons.

The most selfish organ is the heart.

You know those exercises when you are supposed to think of what you hope or wish people would say about you at your funeral? This, above any fame or fortune or connection or accomplishment, is what I would want people to think of and remember about me.

Because you know what?

Life Is Beautiful

Like a gentle shift in an afternoon tryst, my lover was ready for whatever I wanted to do. Words were everything that I craved in my own romantic relationships. Exciting and compelling and engaging and mystical and rich with history and meaning and context. Let’s face it, language is one of the sexiest things out there.

Living your life very intentionally, it can be exhausting.

2012, with all its promise of exciting adventures and new experiences and finally getting my feet under me, deserves to be something more.

2012 will be my Year of Fun