“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.” ~ Aaron  Siskind

Pam: Hey my aunt told me something neat.
Jim: Yeah?
Pam: She said everything with the wedding goes by so fast we should try to take mental pictures of the high points.
Jim: Oh, wow, that’s cool.
Pam: Yeah.
Jim: (mimes taking a mental picture) Click! Oh, you blinked. Dammit, now that’s in my brain forever.
Pam: Oh.
Jim: (mimes scrolling through his mental camera looking at mental pictures) Lousy picture.
Pam: We should have hired a professional to take the mental pictures.
(The Office – Niagra Parts 1 and 2)

All You Need Blogger: Melissa Mullen

Melissa has been photographing love and relationships nationwide for 10 years. The intensity of emotion on the wedding day to the delicate and intimate time of having a baby is a great combination of the simple moments that she loves to watch unfold.  Her journey has allowed her to live and grow her business in New York City, Los Angeles, Orange County, San Diego and ultimately home to the East Coast.  She currently calls New England home.  She loves every opportunity she has to pick up her camera, considers it an honor to document life and is inspired by her unique connection with each of her clients.  Follow her on Twitter @throughtheseyes

Song: Stars – My Favorite Book

“Happily ever after” is one of the most damaging myths about love.

The implied storyline is that boy meets girl, they have some initial struggles, but eventually get together and live happily ever after.

The narrative makes it sound like once you have found love and got it, the “ever after” will be effortless, you can just sit back and enjoy the “happily” part without doing much to maintain it. Goal achieved, nothing left to work for.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

“Happily ever after” requires a hell of a lot of work in the “ever after”-part of the relationship. Love is not something that “happens”, it’s something that is built one day at a time.

What “happens” to people is what I’d like to call hormonal Lust at First Sight. Love may or may not follow.

Photo Credit: Getty Images – Jamie Grill

People tend to mystify our natural biological processes and call them things they are not. What happens at first is nothing more than your animalistic, basal biological instinct to reproduce, a drive that comes from your genes, not your heart.

Love is what makes us rise above being simple, instinctive animals. Love is something that is more than just following your hormonal impulses.

Emotionally mature people can build deep, lasting spiritual and intellectual connections with the people they chose and are compatible with. Connections that are built on the reality of what the other person is, rather than the unrealistic fantasy of the personal angel you want someone else to be for you. Connections that are built on mutual respect and understanding rather than the need for your own ego to be validated.

Yes, it may all start from the Lust at First Sight, biologically triggered attraction, but for love to grow and last, it requires effort if it is to outlast the honey moon period.

True love is the product of a conscious effort to build, grow and nurture the emotional and intellectual connection that people hold to each other. It is not something that “happens.” If you leave love too much to chance and do not maintain it, it will inevitably deteriorate and die.

Just ask yourself: how many relationships seem to deteriorate shortly after marriage? It’s like a lot of people think “goal achieved” and then just sit back and relax once they’ve gotten married.

I believe the prime reason for the sheer amount of divorces and break-ups in the world is a lack of insight to the fact that love requires work and effort. If you believe in an effortless happily ever after love that will always feel like when you had your first kiss, you clearly live in cloud cuckoo-land.

If you want a lasting love and bond with someone, don’t leave it to chance: take control of it, and make a conscious effort together to build it and let love grow.

The “ever after” part of “happily ever after” requires a lot of work and maintenance.

But it might just be worth the effort.

All You Need Blogger: Wille Faler

Wille is an entrepreneur and freelance software developer intent on breaking free from the 9-5. He has an insatiable appetite for challenges, ideas and understanding human nature, subjects which he often writes about on his blog Adventure Capitalist. You can also follow him on Twitter: @wfaler.

Song: Frank Sinatra – The Way You Look Tonight

I’ve been in love…you know, the romantic kind.  The kind where you “just know,” and all of your preconceived, Hollywood-inspired notions go right out the window, because this is the real deal.  It’s tremendous, terrifying, all-consuming and at times, truly indescribable.

But, as so many of us have painfully discovered, romantic love isn’t necessarily everlasting love.

The love I’m talking about grows with you, and becomes greater even when you’re leading separate lives and don’t talk half as much as you’d like to.  It’s the kind of love that enables you to pick up exactly where you left off without missing a beat, even if it’s been nearly a year since you last saw one another.  In my opinion, it’s one of the greatest loves you can hope to find in your life: the love that comes with having a true best friend.

Photo Credit: deviantART – Social-Disaster

I was lucky enough to find mine in the room next door during my first year of college.

Love is sleeping on a hardwood floor when your best friend drags you to meet her new pseudo-hippie boyfriend (who happens to not own a couch).

Love is not rolling your eyes and disowning said best friend when she falls for yet another pseudo-hippie and proclaims she’s going to dread her hair.

It’s watching Jeopardy at your respective apartments and typing out the answers as quickly as possible on AIM when you should be doing a million other things…because it’s just not as much fun to watch alone.

Love is being able to speak openly and honestly about everything: your strange childhood obsession with the Princess Bride, your irrational fear of dolphins, and the aftermath of your parents’ messy divorce.

Love is calling the Rape Crisis Center and sitting in the ER exam room through the entire messy ordeal when your best friend is having one of the worst days of her life.

Love is committing her favorite engagement ring to memory so when one of the luckiest men in the world pops the question, you can make sure he’s got the right goods.

Love is feeling like you could conquer the world together.

I wouldn’t be near the person I am today was it not for the love, friendship, humor and kindness of my best friend aka hetero-life mate Andrea (who patiently tolerated my temporary fixation with boys who lacked regular personal hygiene habits.)  Of course, she mercilessly teased me about them afterward, but I wouldn’t expect anything less of her.

She was the first friend that I’ve never held anything back with.  I never questioned my ability to trust her, or to be able to count on her in a time of crisis or celebration.

I am a better and bolder person because of her.

While she’s kicking ass and taking numbers in conjunction with getting her Master’s in Public Administration in Kansas City, I’d get in my car at 3am and drive through the Illinois flatlands going a buck twenty the second she needed me.  And I know she’d do the same.

All You Need Blogger: Ellen Nordahl

Ellen Nordahl works in marketing and social media at a firm in Madison, Wisconsin.  When not watching midnight reruns of Jeopardy! on the Game Show Network, playing Bananagrams or compiling the perfect playlist,  she blogs about life, career, and other topics that strike her fancy at ElleLaMode.com.  She’ll be moving out of the Midwest to Texas or Colorado in the coming year…or at least that’s the plan for now.  Keep tabs on her @ElleLaMode on Twitter.

Song: Peter, Bjorn & John – Young Folks